SuperEeyore Posted October 1, 2004 Share Posted October 1, 2004 Tulip why did Eve take a bite out of that apple? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heartlessbitch Posted October 1, 2004 Share Posted October 1, 2004 why is benicio del toro so hot? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TulipO Posted October 1, 2004 Author Share Posted October 1, 2004 Tulip...are keebler cookies really made out of elves? No you idiot, but they should be. Those little elf fuckers...I just know they're up to no good. Those freaky little smiles, and the red cheeks--it's clear all they do is drink all day. Moonshine at that! I mean c'mon! THEY LIVE IN A TREE! They're obviously hillbillies of some kind. They're probably not even elves just the freakish result of too much in breeding. Someone should just like, blow up their stupid tree or something. Yeah, and then we coulds steal all their moonshine... Anyway Aarty, stupid question as usual, but it led to me having a BRILLIANT idea, so just bang your head against a wall like 10 times or something and you can go. Secret Fortune You are being followed. Lucky Number: 777 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TulipO Posted October 1, 2004 Author Share Posted October 1, 2004 Speaking of elves: what is Santa Number 1 reason for working outta the North Pole? a) Cheap Non-Unionized Elf Labor b) Lower Environmental Emissions Standards c) Tax Shelter Well I think it has to do with him being so damn fat. Clearly, he could just make the really short inbred hillbilles work for him in their native Kentucky, but he'd sweat his balls off down there. Also, some of the short hillbilles' bigger relatives might get some nasty ideas. So Santa's gotta live someplace cold and far away from any Hillbilly Liberation Groups. Also I hear Santa's a penguin fucker. Wait a minute... YOU MORON! THERE IS NO SANTA FUCKWIT!!! NO SANTA! Although I'm not suprised YOU still believe in him...tard. Although, if there WERE a Santa, I'm sure he'd fuck penguins. Secret Fortune You have worms. I'm certain of it. Lucky Number: 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TulipO Posted October 1, 2004 Author Share Posted October 1, 2004 Is Jont gonna get his job back/get a new job/post here? 1) No because he, like yourself is completely useless. 2) Maybe. If the new job entails being the subject of a scientific experiement researching idiocy. 3) I sure as hell hope not. That would just compound the problems we already have here...y'know the problem of everyone being so DUMB. Now here's something you can do together. Get some big sticks and chase eachother around. Hit eachother with them very hard. Whoever knocks the other one out first wins. Repeat often. Secret Fortune You eat catfood. Luck Number: 81 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TulipO Posted October 1, 2004 Author Share Posted October 1, 2004 TULIP how come u never asked me a question in my madam MS thread!!? OH WOULD YOU...JUST....STOP...WHINING!!!!! Blondie, I'ma kick your ass myself one of these days. In the mean time, take a train to Harlem, and walk around singing "God Bless America" at top volume while wearing a white sheet over your head. Secret Forune The Devil's got you on his waiting list. Lucky Number: 56874689175 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TulipO Posted October 1, 2004 Author Share Posted October 1, 2004 Tulip why did Eve take a bite out of that apple? Bitch was hungry. Secret Fortune NO ONE is laughing WITH you. Lucky Number: 438423647810256478163984756198756745698746298746152897361 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TulipO Posted October 1, 2004 Author Share Posted October 1, 2004 why is benicio del toro so hot? Being promiscuous will not make you more interesting. Secret Fortune You will NOT have sex with Benicio Del Toro in an elevator. The guy's name is Cesar, and he's the maintenance man. Yes, he was really shooting a movie, but I doubt if the Academy will ever recognize it. However, the next "Girls Gone Wild" will be pretty..uhh...graphic. Lucky Number: 13087501 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benz Posted October 4, 2004 Share Posted October 4, 2004 Tulip why did Eve take a bite out of that apple? ... shoulda asked me that question. Tulip - 2 questions. 1) Are ye a Scottish lass? 2) Do your farts smell pretty? And no, the two questions have no relation whatsoever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reverend Jax Posted October 4, 2004 Share Posted October 4, 2004 Do you touch yourself at night? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TulipO Posted October 4, 2004 Author Share Posted October 4, 2004 ... shoulda asked me that question. Tulip - 2 questions. 1) Are ye a Scottish lass? 2) Do your farts smell pretty? And no, the two questions have no relation whatsoever. 1) Am I a drunken sheep shagger with a foul temper and nearly unintelligible accent? Shit NO! And even if I were, I certainly wouldn't admit to it! 2) Having previously discussed the origin of farts, I think it's clear that i very rarely do so myself. The only time MY thoughts are stupid is when I listen to you people for too long! But in the rare event that it happens yes, they smell just like roses. Now excuse me, I have to finish putting pirhanas in someone's bath tub... Secret Fortune It's YOUR tub. Lucky Numbers: 42561089487369276502 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abu Khaki al-Jizzeera Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 I like your attitude. Would you like to be my 5th wife? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TulipO Posted October 6, 2004 Author Share Posted October 6, 2004 I like your attitude. Would you like to be my 5th wife? Eat glass and die. Secret Fortune One of your wives is a dude. Lucky Numbers: 1234567890 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tangent Man Posted October 6, 2004 Share Posted October 6, 2004 she angers me and yet I cannot find any tangents... sad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TulipO Posted October 6, 2004 Author Share Posted October 6, 2004 Do you touch yourself at night? LA Woman, I'm not releasing that sort of information to a cumdumpster like yourself...however, I DO know a whole bunch of people who touch your mom at night. Secret Fortune The waitress spit a lunger into your coffee the other night. You liked it. Lucky Numbers: 1/345 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 When're you gonna go on your next political rampage? We need FuhrerTu damn it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TulipO Posted October 9, 2004 Author Share Posted October 9, 2004 When're you gonna go on your next political rampage? We need FuhrerTu damn it! Don't try to escape an ass-whuppin by placating my considerable ego you miserable fucker. Now: Go add some liquid draino to that whiskey you're more than likely drinking you filthy drunken bastard. Not a lot mind you...just enough to induce what I like to call "the pain." Secret Fortune You're going to father 7 daughters. They will all be sluts. Lucky NUmbers: 98765 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 Would you ever eat a Gilda cracker that has a hair baked into it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TulipO Posted October 9, 2004 Author Share Posted October 9, 2004 Would you ever eat a Gilda cracker that has a hair baked into it? What the fucking hell is a "Gilda" cracker? Is it like made out of the remains of Gilda Radner or something? In that case NO THANKS ASSWIPE. You can take your cancer cookies elsewhere...and it's hair. Slap yourself. Secret Fortune Later today you will drink someone elses's backwash. Lucky Numbers: 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aartemys Posted October 17, 2004 Share Posted October 17, 2004 Paper or plastic? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TulipO Posted October 18, 2004 Author Share Posted October 18, 2004 Paper or plastic? Who fuckin' cares? All I know is that YOUR parents should have used RUBBER! Secret Fortune While millions of environmentalists and grocery store customers are contemplating the "paper or plastic" question, everyone else who doesn't give a fuck is using styrofoam, spilling oil into the water and personally slipping plastic soda can rings around the necks of birds. Then they laugh and laugh and laugh... Lucky Numbers: 5764187501289370128370164378265 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TulipO Posted November 12, 2004 Author Share Posted November 12, 2004 What'd everyone get sick of being abused? Panies... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperEeyore Posted November 12, 2004 Share Posted November 12, 2004 I thought it was pansies... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TulipO Posted November 12, 2004 Author Share Posted November 12, 2004 Ha. Ha. Making fun of a typo. YOu're SOOOOOOOOOOO original. You would have been the coolest girl ever in fifth grade! You should go blow an elephant, or a ...lemming. Secret Fortune You're plams are getting kinda hairy. Lucky Numbers: Not today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daytripper Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 I have a friend named... urm Stan. And he really likes farm animals. Theres this one lamb that when she looks in my.. err Stan's he gets knockity-kneed. What should Stan do? Sincerly yours, Not Stan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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