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The return of The Almighty Nostrajaiknee!


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I'M BACK!!

 

Yes, rejoice non-knowing ones, The Almighty One has returned!! Now all of your questions will go answered and all shall be great... all shall be good!

 

For those of you that are not familiar with who The Almighty Nostrajaiknee is, heres a quick history of The Greatness:

 

I'm the spring of 1980 a child was born, but not like any other child... this child had a special gift! The gift of Knowledge... JAIKNEE KNOWLEDGE!!!!

 

floating_big.jpg

 

Now all grown up, this child has decided to share his knowledge with all the world! SO ASK AWAY jaiknee knowledge seekers and The Almighty Nostrajaiknee will bestow that knowledge upon you!!!

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Da Cap'n, have we met...?

 

What exactly is a... "jaiknee"?

 

Well, to answer your question loyal subject:

 

A "Jaiknee" (or Jaikneeus Boinkapeepeeus) is a creature that lives in the remote jungle of Pantyland! They are so vicious that they can only be found one per Panty! To some tribes they are considered "The Devil"!!

 

WARNING!!

Do not attempt to touch the Jaiknee if not asked to, because then you shall see the true meaning of pain!!

 

fangs.jpg

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how you know if yo ho be cheatin?

 

"Hoes" (as you have described them), ALL CHEAT!!! It's the way of the world!! The number one way to tell though is... jealousy!! When a jaiknee gets jealous and starts accusing you of shit, that means that she feels insecure about something shes done wrong (i.e. talked to another guy, gave him her number, sucked his cock while jiggling his balls and all while wearing a Chun-Li outfit... damn, that bitch was awsome)!!

 

Now, I know what all the chicks are saying... "well the same thing goes for guys then"!! WRONG!!! Guys are to stupid to do something that will incriminate them with insecurities... they'll just come home with lipstick around thier cock!!

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yay!!!!!!!! good to see this is back!!!!! :D

 

they'll just come home with lipstick around thier cock!!

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!! yeah, guys are not too swift and bad with the lying.

 

and nick, that's a great question.

 

so mr. almighty,

 

you have told us the definition of the word but where does the word "jaiknee" come from? i heard it was hijacked by some guy that works at hurricane anime from some hot blonde chick who made it up. and if so, shouldn't you be paying her royalities for the usage of the word? or at least make her a cake? or give her a copy of battle royale?

 

sincerely,

 

mystified in miami

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is it true that girls only want boyfriends with skills? you know...nunchuck skills, bow-hunting skills, computer hacking skills....you know, skills.

 

To bad you possess neither...

 

Well, my little untalented cowboy... it IS true that all jaiknees want a guy that have... "skills"! The more a guy can do, the less they HAVE to do! NEXT!!

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Whats more important. Friends or Family?

 

 

This isn't a jaiknee question, but I'll answer it anyways...

 

Family is ultimately more imortant, cause at the end of the day, they're always gonna be around (can't really get away from your fam), but friends can be pretty important too! For example: I've had the same friends since I was really young and they have become like brothers to me so they mean just as much!

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Friends or family, lose the whole "blood" thing, the more important is the one who treats you with more respect and is really there for you.

 

Mr. Jainkee, is it true Chinese Jaiknee is sidewards?

NJ, can I answer this one? Well, in hopes of his approval, I would say: Not always. Just sometimes.

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I still love my ex-wife Isa, how can I win back this jaiknee?

 

 

:Autoplay 11 13:

 

"It's been too long and I'm lost without you

What am I gonna do

Said I been needin' you, wantin' you

Wonderin' if ur the same and who's been with you

Is ur heart still mine

I wanna cry sometimes

I miss you"

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  • 6 months later...
dear nostrajaiknee,

 

where the funk you been?

 

Sadly, The Almighty Nostrajaiknee is... dead. He passed a few months back in a freak grilled cheese fire accident. I'm sorry nobody was ever told about this, but it... *sniff*... it was just to hard. I will honor our friend by taking over his question thread. It's what he woulda wanted...

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  • 6 months later...
  • 2 weeks later...

dear nostragynie,

 

hypothetically, lets say youre seeing a chick who comes to visit you for a few quickies, then runs off to play resident evil 4, after jacking some of your comics and half your sammich. am i being used here? is this what it felt like for the chicks i did this too? and if so, why were they upset?

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I know you were looking for my cousin, The Almighty Nostrajaiknee, but sadly as mentioned he met a terrible end. He did however speak to me from beyond the grave and tell me of your need.

 

So I have come! The Lessmighty Nostrajaiknee, the adopted black cousin of the Almighty Nostrajaiknee.

 

 

dear nostragynie,

 

hypothetically, lets say youre seeing a chick who comes to visit you for a few quickies, then runs off to play resident evil 4, after jacking some of your comics and half your sammich. am i being used here? is this what it felt like for the chicks i did this too? and if so, why were they upset?

 

 

:::sighs:::

You really don't have a clue do you? All the poo-nany cost you was a few sandwiches and you're crying about being used? She even let right afterwards and you didn't even have to have after sex small talk? Perhaps you'd feel better if you'd cuddle afterwards you fucking sissy.

 

I think I'm sensing secret man-on-man love fantasies that you have been repressing for too long. Perhaps you should cuddle with Jumbie next time he's in your apartment and see if you feel better?

 

The Lessmighty Nostrajaiknee has spoken! Whoha!

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