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Leonidas V.S. Beowulf


Da Cap'n

Leonidas V.S. Beowulf  

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While I can't argue with the cold hard data (ok Beowulf is better on paper i'll admit) my gut feeling is just Leonidas all the way. His particular brand of carnage was just so much slicker and it was a lot more fun to watch him kill hundreds of Persians than it was to see Beowulf kill big scary monsters.

 

Before you say anything: I KNOW thats a matter of opinion and I KNOW this is purely about fighting skill. Just wanted to give some sort of explanation for my incredibly zealous and reverent attitude toward Leonidas.

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Everybody assumes that Big Leo's only experience is fighting Persians at the hot gates. That mutherfucker has been fightin' since BIRTH! Over 40 years of fighting, people! Who the fuck knows how many battles this guy has been in? How many people he's killed? He killed a MUTANT wolf (isn't "wulf" in Beowulf's name, hmmm) and became KING! Not the fuckin' King of England either! King of the most badass place in HISTORY!! Say it with me... SPARTA!!! Taught to rob and steal and KILL! Jesus, the fucker HAD TO BE PERFECT AT BIRTH TO EVEN BE WORTHY TO LIVE!! Can you guess who I voted for?

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Uh... Spiderman? No seriously, I guarantee you in Panch's head this fight and even this poll play out completely differently. In Panch's head, Leonidas & Beowulf start fighting with Spiderman already present as referee(defying the space-time continuum should be done right after all).

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:THIS IS :thwipthwip: SPARTAA!!!

 

So having now seen beowulf 3D I can edjicaytedly cast my vote heartily for Leonidas. As a showman, as an entertainer, as a character real or ficticious, as a goddamned fucking movie, Beowulf's only hope is that he brings

his baby-mama

Jolie's character along to hopefully(but highly unlikely given Spartan discipline) distract leonidas. The movie was cack, the character was cack, but Jolie's digitally rendered goodness was well worth the price of admission.

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Man, Skeet and Jax know me so well...

 

Yeah, so Leonidas is back in the lead where he belongs. You know I was thinkin': this is the manliest thread we've had in a while. Whatever happened to the days of Hondos' awesomeness? What we need is a little controversy...

 

heh, heh.

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the one thing in all of this that annoys me is the fact that acalis voted without even seeing 300....

THAT IS NOT SPARTA!!!!

Well just got done seeing 300, and those Leonidas is indeed one badass, I still think that Beowulf could take him down in a one-on-one duel!

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Here's a question for ya Acalis:

 

Which was a better movie? 300 or Beowulf?

I would have to agree with Signal08 and say that as far as the movies go, 300 was the better movie. But as far as a one-on-one battle, Beowulf would so kick Leonidas's ass in my opinion.

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Fuck Hatton V Mayweather. This would be one helluva fight. Ah yes I can see it now:

 

Leonidas Vs Beowulf at the MGM Grand, Las Vegas. The Mythological Melee! The Historic Hootenanny! The Ancient Aggrofest! Prehistoric Pugilism at its very best ladies and gentlemen!!!

 

Lets get rrrready to rrrrrrumblllllllle!!!

 

But of course Leonidas would just swiftly eviscerate Beowulf with his sword at the weigh-in...

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1st of all leonidas supposedly really existed

 

Supposedly?

 

Leonidas.jpg

 

Actual statue at the site where the fucker died at Thermopylae. Think about this for a second... Leonidas and his 300's sacrifice at the Hot Gates, where he staled the Persians for JUST 3 DAYS, was the difference between the life that you know now and you maybe having Persian ancestors. Believe it, cause it's true...

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and beowulf would rip his mortal little arms off, grab his legs, do the cartwheel walk with him and use him to edge his driveway and sidewalk with that helmet of his. End of story.and beowulf would rip his mortal little arms off, grab his legs, do the cartwheel walk with him and use him to edge his driveway and sidewalk with that helmet of his. End of story.

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