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G.I. Joe


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its our worst fears, come alive! the epic tale of Sgt. Slaughter vs Cobra whom the movie revealed actually came from a race of cobra-men and... wait i think your nostalgia is making the source material better than it was.

Pre-UN, of course. anyway, Sienna Miller's hot there, but i have high expectations of the Baroness.

 

PS destro's what made you sad? did you not click on Storm Shadow?!

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Destro is suppose to be a bearded pasty white Scottish arm's dealer in a ceremonial mask that's been passed down through the generations. In the cartoon I've seen him wear the mask while dressed in a suit and a freaking bathrobe; Destro does not bother me. On the other hand, Duke looks gay and Storm Shadow make me want to cry...

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  • 1 month later...

G.I. Joe Movie on imdb.com -- http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1046173/

 

Things I find interesting:

 

- Stephen Sommers, Director of both Mummy movies, is directing this movie

 

- Brendan Fraser, from both Mummy movies, plays "Gung Ho"

 

- Arnold Vosloo, THE Mummy himself, plays "Zartan"

 

- Adewale Akinnouye-Agbaje, Lock-Nah from the 2nd Mummy movie, as "Heavy Duty"

 

Is it me, or are there lots of connections to The Mummy movies here? :2T:

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They got Snake Eyes right and I still want to make sweet dirty love to the Baroness and that was all I cared about. Fuck Storm Shadow and fuck GI Joe's Village People-esque costumes from the cartoon. It disappoints me because Destro doesn't have a metal mask on and it doesn't have the same overpowering "America FUCK YEAH!!" message the cartoon had (seriously, Duke flying to the top of the statue of liberty on a jetpack holding an American flag was like an epic win in every way) so long as Cobra's still got the blue shroud on his face then I'm on board.

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so the fact that it's a bastardized 'GI Joe' (considering the entire fucking name is an invocation of the American soldier, lets just ignore that) into some BS pansy ass UN 'strike force' which DOESN'T EVEN EXIST is ok with you?

 

They might as well draw in permanent cocks in the mouths of the Joe's, that's how Gay this shit is.

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so the fact that it's a bastardized 'GI Joe' (considering the entire fucking name is an invocation of the American soldier, lets just ignore that) into some BS pansy ass UN 'strike force' which DOESN'T EVEN EXIST is ok with you?

 

They might as well draw in permanent cocks in the mouths of the Joe's, that's how Gay this shit is.

 

Woah woah woah, wait. You're calling realism on a show that involved a ninja destroying a tank by hitting it a bunch of times and the bad guy was a lizard man? Cause last I checked there wasn't a GI Joe task force to the best of my knowledge. But maybe there are American Ninjas taking out evil terrorists in Iraq.

 

What I'm saying is the only characters I give a flying fuck about (those being Snake Eyes and Baronness) look okay to me and as long as Snake Eyes kicks ass and Baroness has the accent then I'll walk away happy. And to your little addendum that could've been said for the show as well, I mean come on there was a lotta subtext there, not near as much as with He-Man but it was pretty gay.

Edited by Iambaytor
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Was NOT!

 

BLASPHEMER!

 

(I think it's time I change my avatar to Stan from American Dad...but I don't have the heart to remove House...)

 

I'm sorry man I'll defend Transformers, Thundercats, Ninja Turtles, Sonic the Hedgehog, even the Super Mario Bros. Super Show but I know a lost cause when I see it. Besides the GI Joe we all know and love is a bastardization of the original GI Joe (you know the one that actually had a guy NAMED GI Joe) do any of you know of the Phantom Enemy? Didn't think so.

 

Also, I support that choice.

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GI Joe was always pretty lame, any love most fans have is strictly nostalgic, not based on quality. It was a lame show and the movie has nowhere to go but up in actual quality. In the world of patriotic hero film adaptations, I'll keep all my hope eggs the the Captain America basket. As for adaptations of 80's kids shows, I'm just hoping that TMNT sequel sees the light of day. Who needs Joe, when you've got Leo.

Edited by Reverend Jax
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In my mind I will convince my self that GI Joe is the American Branch of the UN task force and other countries can have their own like Russia can have the KGB Comrades, Britain can have the SAS Supermen, Israel can have the Mossad Minute Men, and even Egypt can have the Allah Agents... Okay, I'm being delusional but I'm trying dammit!

 

DESTRO is fine as long as he puts on his stupid mask at least once in the movie somewhere. And the more I look at Stormshadow the less I mind his outfit. Cobra commander must have the hood, but we've seen no pictures of him so I don't know what to expect. Hawk and Snake Eyes look perfect, Heavy Duty, Baroness, and Scarlet look good too, Breaker is strange enough that he looks like he came out of the cartoon so I don't know if that's good or bad, but Ripcord and Duke still make me want to cry for my childhood.

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Amen to that. TMNT had that low-budget but badass animation and great voice acting. Now if they could just get a decent script together for a sequel, I'm sold.

 

Or not, actually, even if the story's crap again I'd watch a TMNT sequel before most other 80s cartoon revivals.

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that's because you're a heathen communist....speaking ill of Joel. America hater!

 

Speaking Ill of Joel make me a communist now? I speak ill of Joel all the time, so do a lot of people, that isn't communism, it's the American way :proof:

 

But come on, the GI Joes had to be part of a larger international organization. They unilaterally invaded a different sovereign nation each week with thousands of troop and tons of heavy equipment ordnances with the goal of seizing some of that country's national treasures; and all to thwart some American/Scottish based corporately supported private contractors who's main occupation, in contrast to their stated goals of global domination, seemed to be to the disruption of the United States military industrial complexes' monopoly on the global arms market. If they didn't have some mandate by the United Nations the foreign outcry would have been immense and would quickly have led to the disbandment of the unit and the arrest of it's officers.

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WOW, talk about a slip lol

 

touche, Sam.

 

hey unilaterally invaded a different sovereign nation each week with thousands of troop and tons of heavy equipment ordnances with the goal of seizing some of that country's national treasures; and all to thwart some American/Scottish based corporately supported private contractors who's main occupation, in contrast to their stated goals of global domination, seemed to be to the disruption of the United States military industrial complexes' monopoly on the global arms market. If they didn't have some mandate by the United Nations the foreign outcry would have been immense and would quickly have led to the disbandment of the unit and the arrest of it's officers.

...are you and I talking about the same America? South and Central America ring a bell?

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Sure, why not. I can imagine talking ill of Joel as not just the American way but the Pan-American way. Just think of it. the entire western hemisphere speaks ill of Joel with just one mighty voice... I'd be like Hands Across America but without all those gaps in the Midwest. :proof:

 

But I kid... back to the Joes and their propensity for violating international law!

Edited by Drifter
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