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OH NEIL GAIMAN you have really done it now! I loveyou!

BITCHCAKES.

 

http://www.neilgaiman.com/journal/2005/12/skippy-show.asp

 

I see from USA Today that Christopher Robin is being replaced by a "tomboy girl" in order to appeal to the youth of today. http://www.usatoday.com/life/television/ne...-the-pooh_x.htm. Undoubtedly Disney have done lots of marketing research on this. As we learn from the article, "We got raised eyebrows even in-house at first, but the feeling was these timeless characters really needed a breath of fresh air that only the introduction of someone new could provide," says Nancy Kanter of the Disney Channel.

 

Here at www.neilgaiman.com we're painfully aware that, after five years of me blogging, we're alienating a whole new generation of blog-readers for whom a middle-aged male author maundering on about writing stuff is, frankly, pretty stale. We need a breath of fresh air, just like Winnie the Pooh. Therefore the rest of this blog entry will be written by Skippy, a fictional six-year-old tomboy and computer genius, with a small number of endearing catchphrases.

 

inside-pooh.jpg

 

Neil--Just a quick bit about prices for the 92Y event, specifically for the poor student types (myself included) among your readers. I called yesterday to inquire about the student price ($12.50) and was told that it is not possible to puchase tickets at the discounted rate in advance. The only way one can get the student rate is to go to the Y an hour before the show and buy them then. Thought your readers would appreciate the information. See you in January, Circus

 

Whoo gosharootie, Circus. Still, I think we've all learned something from that. Hugs!

 

Alpha, the SF/F/H Workshop for Young Writers runs July 19 - 26, 2006 in Western Pennsylvania. The deadline for manuscripts is March 31, 2006. This year, author guests are Wen Spencer, Timothy Zahn, Dora Goss and Tamora Pierce along with a large staff of writers. Twenty students (ages 14 to 19) are accepted based only on the merit of their submission stories. If the $900 fee poses a hardship for some students, we try to arrange scholarships. This will be our fifth year. More details on our website at: http://alpha.spellcaster.org

 

Gee. If I wasn't six years old and completely fictional, I'd be there like a shot. Oh, bitchcakes.

 

I was at the Dreamhaven signing on the third and when someone asked "What's next?" you mentioned a lot of news that I hadn't heard of yet, but you left out your next book of short stories. I was wondering if there was any update on that?

 

Whoo. Mr Neil says it's going to be called Fragile Things and will be out late next year and he and Morrow editor Ms Jennifer Brehl are busy puttin' all the stories together and findin' all the ones that he forgot about and fussin' about the order they go in. Gosharootie, you should hear them argue about what goes where. I asked my cute computer and it put those stories into an order in milliseconds. But do they ever listen to me? Bitchcakes, no. Hugs!

 

Dear Neil,I followed the link in your FAQ to the Greater Talent Network. It reminded me of James Michener's comments in his autobiography about working as a speaker and how much he hated it (apparently he felt the Agency was tight fisted in practice). I wondered whether you enjoyed speaking engagements more and whether you got bored with repeating the same basic topics?Your Sincerely Paul Barnier Australia

The main reason Mr Neil signed up with Greater Talent Network is to have someone to charge ridiculously high prices for him to come and speak, so as people won't keep askin' him and he can stay home and spend more time writin' them funny ol' stories. But when he does give talks, gosharootie, they're always different, because he can't remember what he said last time. I wish I could get them folks at Greater Talent Network to sign me up, and make cute dolls and toys of me and Blinky the Computer.

 

Hey Neil, Just something that occurred to me. Looking at the pictures you posted on the 2nd. I don't mean you to take this the wrong way... but it looks like you're posing for a publicity shot :love: Is that almost an instinctive thing by now? Pointed camera 12 o'clock... assume the position!Regards, Mick

 

I'm all bored of talking about Mr Neil. Let's talk about me. I'm funny and charmin' and cute, and not all like that ol' fusspot who always looks like he's posin' for a publisicity shot. You know who ought to be havin' her photo taken? That's right! Me! Skippy! Yay! Hugs!

 

Hi, Sorry to bother you with such a trivial question (I scrolled through the FAQ's to see if it was answered), but why live in Minnesota?I don't mean to be rude at all (and really don't expect a response) but do you find inspiration there? I always picture highly successful writers/artists as living in places that are always warm, sunny, and tropical. It's silly, I know.Thanks.Take care. Sincerely, Celeste

 

He just likes places that are out of the way. I tell him, go to Hollywood, I tell him. That's where the big bucks are. Or somewhere with palm trees anyway. He don't listen. He just sits in the cold and watches Doctor Who with Maddy (they're just watching the Boom Town episode right now). Gosharootie. What an old fusspot he is. Next week he'll be leaving and Blinky and I'll be taking over the Journal entirely, along with a whole new cast of characters, including Johnnie the Jolly Juicer, Minko the Magic Mink and Beppo the Popcorn Boy. Hugs!

 

...

 

There we go. Thank you, Skippy. I'm currently in an odd sort of limbo, waiting to find out whether I go to the UK tomorrow for some script meetings. How odd. And the thing that's puzzled me most about Sony putting dodgy software on their audio CDs that then went and hid itself on people's computers, was what were all the antivirus programs doing while this was happening? Glad someone else wondered about it too.

 

And tonight's good news is that CBGBs is keeping its lease for another year -- http://www.ny1.com/ny1/content/index.jsp?stid=1&aid=55477 .

 

hahahahah. crazy.

 

PS Skippy?wtf! C.Ro. is where it's at.

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"The Waitress is how I can't control my violence, and in this one situation, we're both equals, we're both waitresses in this song. I don't go into the details of why. Why isn't the issue. The issue is that I thought I was a peacemaker, and this violence has totally taken control of every belief system that I have. It's a very scary thing, especially after you talk about anti-violence."

-- Tori; The Baltimore Sun, '94

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blargh is 10 posts down in the pubs? behind all the questin threads?! its gonna take some epic shit to bring it back up to the glory of page 276, so here goes:

 

"Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,

To the last syllable of recorded time;

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!

Life's but a walking shadow; a poor player,

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,

And then is heard no more: it is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing."

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i finally saw crash. it was alright. the acting was good mostly (especially terrence howard) but the writing and plot was eh. sometimes i get pissed when movies could've been better. this is one of those occasions. everyone was a fucking caricature which would have worked fine if this movie was trying to be a satire. actually, it probably would have worked better as a satire becuase it was way too heavy-handed in it's message to work as a drama. Maybe they thought the audience was stupid and wouldn't get the racism so they had to point out the wrongs that were being done in almost every scene. i kept waiting for captions to appear at the bottom of the screen saying "Racism is wrong!" after every incident. Sometimes I like to think during a movie but this one doesn't even give you a chance. OK, so i really didn't mean for this to be an actual review but i'm too lazy to copy and paste right now. blah.

 

anyway, speaking of driving...i was driving home from work today and i saw some of the weirdest driving maneuvers. i think people in miami have perfected what i'm going to start calling avant garde/abstract driving because not only are some of the things drivers do here illegal, they're fucking illogical and creative too. fucking miami.

Edited by La Lindsay
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It seems that Idaho's state legislature has proposed a resolution to commend the creators of Napolean Dynamite. Why? Because the movie presents Idaho in such a positive light. Here is the case (text lifted straight from the proposition:

 

1) The scenic and beautiful City of Preston, County of Franklin and the State of Idaho are experiencing increased tourism and economic growth.

 

2) Filmmaker Jared Hess is a native Idahoan who was educated in the Idaho public school system

 

3) The Preston High School administration and staff, particularly the cafeteria staff, have enjoyed notoriety and worldwide attention.

 

4) Tater tots figure prominently in this film thus promoting Idaho's most famous export.

 

5) The friendship between Napoleon and Pedro has furthered multiethnic relationships.

 

6) Uncle Rico's football skills are a testament to Idaho athletics.

 

7) Napoleon's bicycle and Kip's skateboard promote better air quality and carpooling as alternatives to fuel-dependent methods of transportation

 

8) Grandma's trip to the St. Anthony Sand Dunes highlights a long-honored Idaho vacation destination.

 

9) Rico and Kip's Tupperware sales and Deb's keychains and glamour shots promote entrepreneurism and self-sufficiency in Idaho's small towns.

 

10) Napoleon's artistic rendition of Trisha is an example of the importance of the visual arts in K-12 education.

 

10) The schoolwide Preston High School student body elections foster an awareness in Idaho's youth of public service and civic duty.

 

11) The "Happy Hands" club and the requirement that candidates for school president present a skit is an example of the importance of theater arts in K-12 education.

 

12) Pedro's efforts to bake a cake for Summer illustrate the positive connection between culinary skills to lifelong relationships.

 

13) Kip's relationship with LaFawnduh is a tribute to e-commerce and Idaho's technology-driven industry.

 

14) Kip and LaFawnduh's wedding shows Idaho's commitment to healthy marriages.

 

15) The prevalence of cooked steak as a primary food group pays tribute to Idaho's beef industry.

 

16) Napoleon's tetherball dexterity emphasizes the importance of physical education in Idaho public schools.

 

17) Tina the llama, the chickens with large talons, the 4-H milk cows, and the Honeymoon Stallion showcase Idaho's animal husbandry.

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holy shit that was awesome...i especially love this part...

 

WHEREAS, any members of the House of Representatives or the Senate of the

3 Legislature of the State of Idaho who choose to vote "Nay" on this concurrent

4 resolution are "FREAKIN' IDIOTS!" and run the risk of having the "Worst Day of

5 Their Lives!"

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how to bitchslap 50 Cent 101, by professor Nasir Jones:

 

it’s on nigga...I’ma bury em;

niggas don’t want beef, they vegetarians

scared of pussy, you climbed out the Cesarean

I’ll push ya grown ass back in ya mother’s womb

ya need nine more months, your crew’s got more punks

rhyme all stuff, ya’ll claim I ain’t sign ya’ll up

If I signed ya’ll, I’m on dust

yeah we from the same hood but nigga, what?!

 

- 180px-Nas.jpg

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