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Freestyles & battle raps

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Duado's Never Learn


Check this kid out, he bites like unbelievable,

analyzed my rhyme and tried to dis every syllable.

Ain't got nothin' original, your dis is admiration

and every time you call me a queer, its for attention.

It's clear that you're the lowest rung on the Pato ladder,

of all the Patos Malos, even REF rhymes phatter,

and she ain't even spit a letter, she knows better.

I'd shave her hairy back & sow that shit into a sweater.

Never - tease a giant when you hanging with some midgets,

and beating on the handicapped will send my ass to prison

so before you start the dissin, go buy a dictionary.

Learn some vocab and don't ever think you can scare me

with that weak ass cock talk, man you're worse than Nick!

You fantasize about it, here, choke on this dick.

This is what you really came for, to suck on the God -

of this thread - give some head, maybe your rhymes will get better.

My style is tough as leather, yours blows like the weather,

you should get it together before I start to dismember -

any duck left talking shit gets thrown in the fryer.

Leave your girl so wet you'll have to toss her in the dryer.

You're starting to perspire, bitch, go get a towel.

Watch some Wheel of Fortune, please buy a mother fuckin' vowel.

Do something for those shitty rhymes, talk to an owl.

I read your rhymes, my stomach hurts, I gotta move a bowel.




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Haha...shinin on duado's vocab, lookit this one...that was a good droppin there tho Chiefy, ill give props. I think the final 4 -6 lines are my favorite bits tho.

I'll let him handle this, i dont think my 25th hour's gettin a reply tho. Time to start callin out Jumbie...

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"I know the watch bothering your vision, but reach and I'll put a dot in your head like it's part of your religion..." - Lloyd Banks


Slaughter of the Chief


Its time to finish off the last of the Mohicans...

Been hatin on the ducks cause the cats can flow, and he can't!

I'll send your preppy ass back to abercombre and fitch...

Snatch you from out your Ford and crash the piece of shit!

Contour SVT thats got like 40 ponies...

Tryin to race other cars? i can beat you in my sauconies!

Diss the other ducks cause you's the ugly duckling...

Never gon' get no respect cause you never sayin nothing...

Be sure this Robitussin fuckin put you to sleep!

Place you in the back of I.C.'s truck the toss you in a creek...

Have ario play taps for you, P will send your moms the flag...

But you know she wont accept it cause she knows that your a fag...

That you pack more fudge than Keebler Elves....

This queer pats down more wood than a beaver tail...

I never lack originality I always come correct...

Yet this fag points our mispelled words you just my spell check...

Now I would ask your to retire but u were never in the game...

Childish rhymes like Dr. Seuss recognize that you is lame...

You only spittin tobacco residue you never spittin flames..

And believe me I get no attention, from you never hittin dames...

Thats your issues man I'm like Eminem you is Stan...

You hate but u my biggest fan but unlike Em i wont extend my hand...

I only send rhymes that take bout 15 minutes to write...

What's created in the time frame is lyrical genocide...


"I came, I saw, I conquered..." :sleepy:

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Hah...i thought Duado's shit was tight...


I never lack originality I always come correct...

Yet this fag points our mispelled words you just my spell check...

Now I would ask your to retire but u were never in the game...

Childish rhymes like Dr. Seuss recognize that you is lame...

You only spittin tobacco residue you never spittin flames..

And believe me I get no attention, from you never hittin dames...



....I only send rhymes that take bout 15 minutes to write...

What's created in the time frame is lyrical genocide...


no love for all that? Cmon now, that shit was good, the man's workin with what he got for not really knowin ya, give credit where its due!

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Well maybe your're only reading the lines that truthfully apply to you. My rhymes actually diss you and only you, your rhmes are indirect and mostly praising yourself. Maybe if you were to study battle rap a little more, you'd learn that your're suppossed to diss the opponent, not make fake claims about yourself. So how bout a race huh? You bring out your contour, and I'll bring out my Air Force ones....


"They think they crazy but they ain't crazy,

Let's face it, shit basically they just playin sick...

They ain't shit, they ain't sayin shit, spray em' fifty..."

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I like to call this one...




"Hey Junker, why can't we just get along?

why'd you have to diss me in your song?

I was just sittin' around, whackin my schlong

when your verbal assault hit me like a bomb!

All those rhymes must have broke the law!

I had to run home and call my ma'

I didn't start rappin to have ya bust my jaw

I just wanted to sing Kumbaya!

I wanted to hold hands and bond with y'all

but your battle rappin made me feel so small!

I can't beleive I'm in the middle of a brawl

I didn't know rappin could get me mauled

Now I'm standin tall, and I wanna fight back

but lord help me, my rhymes are just wack

I gotta hide from Junker's lyrical attack

maybe if I ask nice, he wont drop another track

but I think I see him coming, oh no I'm gonna get smacked

what do I expect when I rhyme like shaq?

Leave me alone I'm a pacifist!

I'm beggin junker to cease and desist

cause I just can't stand gettin dissed

and every single time I try to resist

I throw down rhymes that barely exist..."

Edited by JunkerSeed
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Haha...damn i got tried like a free sample at K-Mart...

my favorite bits (outside of Kumabaya) is by far the end, where im a pacifist whose rhymes "barely exist"...

see, and here i was gonna call it even, but you said i rap like Shaq so you know i gotta come back later....

meantime, points to Junker, my shine on Jumbie will hafta be put on hold for now...good shit.

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Hah...yeah well that was to be expected, we used to freestyle back in the day and everyone else is new to it - Im waitin on Robittusins to drop hers soon, i saw a part of it and it was good.

Was lookin to start shit with other board members but i gotta handle a cranky film student first, but i got it.

One quack. V.


:D :D

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i thought the whole point of battling was to get a response outta someone... guess not... ???


i hate it when i take the time to call someone out and they don't respond... that's just lame... :mischievous:


it don't take that long... whatever... shits no fun when they take forever :plain:

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Ill PM her later to remind her, dont worry. I know its not fun when they dont respond. But im through talkin, here's some spit to occupy Junker when he's stuck at other campuses.


Who's afraid of Junkerseed?: The Criterion Collection


why's Mariam's puppydog followin my flows?

ya like MC Someshit, and eveybody knows

movie forum's yours, thats where all of us go

for reviews, but you lose on the mic, dumb ho

talkin smack to the king - man, dan what is you smokin?

then i take the battle home - "damn nick; was only jokin!"

normally id let it go, while you play up on the mic

but my repuation's tight; like throwin dick to a dike

my skills score kills that everybody feels

but you aint the reals, here's a pair of training wheels

eat that ass up, but leavin crumbs so call me crummy

oh, and here's ya birthday gift - its called "how to rap for dummies"

you should peep section five, the one called "rhythm"

better yet, take notes, on this crowd and what i give em

got a whole lotta nothin, so ya use my words against me

you don't like philosophy?, well here's an analogy:

you're like robin to batman, reruns to the new

other fighters to roy jones, or even jax to you

I know - ill talk slow, cause you aint that bright a man

bring it down to ya level, hope that you might understand:

on stage, Im Scorsese, with a gangsta tale in mind,

while you're an Ed Wood reject that's just way outta line

youre gettin too much credit by me even taking notice

kinda makes me sad that i took 2 minutes when i wrote this

Warhol was right - enjoy ya 15 of fame

now go back to your reviews, cause ya shit here's lame


Patos_small.jpgmy first album had no famous guest appearences...the outcome: i'm crowned the best lyrcist

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That shit was phat IC. Gonna join you on the movie front...


Hey Junk, you and your movie knowledge

Ain't worth shit here at the Hard Knocks College

You may have seen more than mosts share of flicks

But most don't count like Chicks with dicks 1 thru 6

In this house of rap you a rookie trying to learn

But I'll bust you ass quicker than Marge Gunderson

In the bar at seven you better not be late

And be ready to listen coz I ain't about to debate

I'm getting the car with the dealer plates and the truecoat

Better not mess you short and kinda funny looking goat

Then in the restaurant you'll refuse to be the tipper

Coz I'm feeding through me brand new wood chipper.



Ah hell, IC could use being brought down a peg or two...or three B)


Hey Irish Cow yeah dude I'm talking to you

You think you pretty witty but just amatuers have you slew

I realised we haven't faced off since the beginning

You let me off said that I was just learning

But now the levels and ranks are pretty damn far back

And I got rhymes you dream of dripping from my sack

No more props no more big-ups you ain't earned dick

I guess I'll let you guest on me cart-topping record as my Key Grip

Take it or leave it honcho I know you on a mission

I know its hard when your'e gay to get much recognition

I hope you return the favour and diss me I'll be glad

Coz you ain't one of the good or clever guys but you sure be one of the bad.

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...but not good enough! Im quick to reply as long as im unemployed & have too much spare time on the mic, haha...


Kickin the Bucket - aka Get Carter


Man..ill leave you leaky, seeping, and perforatted

where ya come from M? those sample's is outdated

ya give props, nuff respect but then challenge the flow

i like you man - dont make me whack you like you's a bonobo

this here game is free trade, but you got no skills to barter

startin with Junker too, he's gonna film this "Get Carter"

now i refrain, but lyrics blast like shotguns to cobain,

i'm playin nice cause you's a fan like Jont to cocaine

ya hold the mic but ya shakin, man; try to maintain

I know ya new to game, and MC III left you a stain

they tagged you up like it was paintball, shat on ya resume

Id show pity, but KOS got his hand slapped away

so now ya crawlin solo, and this here's judgement day

think you safe cause you hidnin inna closet at UK?

call some friends arounda way, thugs that i knew again

tell em go cross the pond and deal with this hooligan

thinks he's an MC but he's all about rock

he's decent onna mic, but that's cause of satan's cock

don't be mad, cause i used up all ya material...

just remember who's the king, cause the reign's imperial... *poof*


Patos_small.jpgYou can come test realize you're no contest...

son, I'm the gun that won that old Wild West

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Yeah...see i wanna take it to Jumbie, but if i pull the Chiefy & get too many against me this thread becomes a full-time job.

Hey Chief, can you get Jumbie on down here? Cmon, think of all the condescending Current Events replies youve had...

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MLB comes back with another of those block-rockin beats....getting about ready to rock steady....


I'm back once again kickin wid my foes

Get ready for some speedy lines of prose

Ain't noone can spit the rhymes as quick as me

I rap all over your ass and still have time for tea

So IC can reference like theres no tomorrow

So many sources he pirates doesn't even ask to borrow

I hope the FEDs or government catch him stealing like the pope

Prison is the place for him, slippery hands keep droppin' soap

I ain't saying all my rhymes be original or from somewhere new

But I'll kill the lame-ass jury before they even begin to sue

You think I need the MCIII, back-up have I none

But you ain't me goddamn father and I ain't your goddamn son

I pick my own fights and start the underdog you see

But like the Mighty Ducks I whoop yo ass with my flying V

So come one come all from your foreign lands

Come closer for the scrap and draw your lines in the sand

Coz I ain't afraid of no-one, least of all some Cowboy puss

Who you think I am some whiteboy wannabe wuss?

I may be making ryhmes that you like the least

But at least I believe in something, you can call me the Beast.....028.gif

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Hah...good shine on me there Bucket; my favorite bit..


So IC can reference like theres no tomorrow

So many sources he pirates doesn't even ask to borrow

I hope the FEDs or government catch him stealing like the pope

Prison is the place for him, slippery hands keep droppin' soap


keep it comin son, take your shots while ya can, im gonna give it a bit to let Junker catch up, see what move he makes.

I'm not handlin this like Chiefy; im workin on a rap strong enough to handle multiple haters. :D

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...which apparently i wont get a chance to use, cause unless both MC's get a chance to reply...cmon, the mic's been passed, dont leave the crowd hangin like that...


"Now, usually, i dont do this, but uh..go head on, break em off with a lil previews of the remix..."


Leaky came back, but Junker's, i never seena...

prolly at a shelter, for gettin smacked up like Tina

Ya'll was fair on the mic, respect - i gave a nod

but now the cowboy's risin up like its an act of god...



Patos_small.jpgNiggaz don't dare, step in the square

kids ain't playin over here, playa

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Tired of waitin, here it goes...


Ok..this public service announcement is the result of listening to too much Nas and actually takin my time to spit somethin, since the quickies apparnetly left the chickens still squawking...


Lyrical manifesto aka please read this before challenging Irish Cowboy on the mic


See here now, look at the shit ya'll been startin

you really want your faces on the side of milk cartons?

do you really wanna go to war with the braveheart?

dont start; I look twice, and you break out like a fart

Bucket tries real hard, but cant follow my style;

Junker tries to walk the walk, but trips on that 8th mile

talkin bout "shit aint right man, just look at alla those...

how's a white boy comin at me with these kinda flows?"

ya dont know me son, cause i'm that perfect stranger

quick to rearrange ya like clear & present danger

two clowns, on that Midnight Run like DeNiro

check the references, son - you battlin with a superhero

now the mic finally fell in-to the right hands

cause cowboy's on the scene just to foil your plans

i'm on a mission, to leave you wishin, like a fallin star

but it dont change shit, im still the best by far

rhymin on timin...man, what ya waitin for?

come inna door, get beaten down like prisoners of war

cause..my style flexes

all over texas

hittin you so hard, that you might be switchin sexes

hidin in the grass'n, hopin that i'm passin

but cowboy's on that ass, and i move like an assasian

comin harder than bricks, or dicks, right outta jail

"schoolin fools well like my rhymes' is written in braille"

IC's not a man to trifle, besta stand as my disciple

like the moon over ya head, affectin tides and menstrual cycles... *poof*


Patos_small.jpgI never make the same mistakes,

movin with a change of pace, lighter load, see now the king is straight

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