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Blargh - The Random Thread


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That one took a lot longer to turn up than I thought it would.

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you know, having a Wii might mean sifting through tons of shovelware, but every now and again, the 3rd party developers really put out some gems.

 

badconcept03.jpg

 

YOU are Chad Hopkins, a member of the deadly ninja: masters of stealth, assassination, espionage and martial combat. You are not a very good one. You graduated at the bottom of your ninja class (you missed a lot of classes because you were having problems with your girlfriend Jean at the time).

 

Now all the other ninja have been wiped out, and it’s up to you to save the world. And sadly, you won’t be able to, because as previously mentioned, you’re really not very good. You can’t jump more than a foot, your katanas are cheap replicas you bought off a guy with a lazy eye at a gun show in Houston, and you’ve been smoking since high school, so it’s pretty tough these days to clear a flight of steps without running out of breath. Plus you’re not getting any younger. You’re pretty much as good as you’re ever going to be, and it’s still not even slightly impressive. You’re sort of a joke in martial arts circles, to be honest.

 

CLUMSY MELEE COMBAT

Unresponsive controls, sluggish responses and blatant AI cheats combine to immerse you in the experience of being a laughably sub-standard fighter with limited range of motion

 

NO ACTUAL PLOT

Every level is randomly chosen without any context whatsoever, emulating how it would feel to not really know what’s going on at any time

 

STEEP LEARNING CURVES

Impossible-to-master moves, an incomprehensibly vague manual and infrequent save points will help you see through the eyes of a clumsy, uncoordinated idiot

 

CLOSED WORLD GAMEPLAY

A limited sandbox with few choices ensures you will affect the outcome of the game in NO WAY WHATSOEVER

 

CHARACTER REGRESSION

As you progress in the game, your character not only won’t learn new moves, he will actually forget things you’ve already taught him to do depending on his level of embarrassment as a result of enemies not really taking him seriously

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seriously, that had better be a high school paper.

on a lighter note, LL's stumbles are full of win, cause its hard to call what i liked better between Fox News throughout the ages, that clipping or Dr. Mario gone wrong.

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seriously, that had better be a high school paper.

on a lighter note, LL's stumbles are full of win, cause its hard to call what i liked better between Fox News throughout the ages, that clipping or Dr. Mario gone wrong.

Amen. In fact, I believe I need to make a stop by the FHD thread. I wonder who corrected that, and what reactions (s)he might've had while going over it.

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So after being Rickroll'd for the 100th time I realized that much like 100% of 80s music if you can't see the video the song is actually kinda catchy. SO I downloaded it onto the laptop (AKA "My Ipod") and tucked it away in my music folder.

 

I always just put my windows media player on "Play All" and "Random" so I can cycle through songs. I haven't heard House of the Rising Sun in months but I've heard Never Gonna Give You Up 8 times this week.

 

Even my computer is Rickrolling me! :ohface:

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