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The NZA

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I thought I was having a heart attack or a panic attack. I awoke covered soaking in sweat, and I felt like my chest was going to explode. I thought I was going to die. Then it happened. I belched, felt a little better, then let one rip... a big one. One that could be considered assault with a deadly weapon. I casted an IRL Shadow Bolt (yes we're still talking about a fart here, nothing else happened) from my arse. I gave birth to a cloud. Then I felt all better. The end.

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Man, did the Texans somehow hold Europe for an entire turn and now have like, +3 reenforcements or something? Just seems like all of a sudden the Texans are expanding exponentially and all I'm saying is, there's only so long they're gonna fortify the borders of texas before they expand down to SOuth America or Across through to Asia.

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With my new purple hair, I think I'm going to dress up like Gert and pretend I'm awesome. I'm also gonna somehow turn Cj into a Dinosaur! It's gonna be totally cool you guys.

 

Arsenic_GertYorkes_1.jpg

gert-runaways.jpg

 

aw man, so MH finally gets the comparisons to Runaways' Gert! that's so awesome.

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wha-what?! I've always got the comparison! I just never had the purple hair to rock it before now, lolz <3

 

 

 

I feel so honored and awesome!

You do know what must be done now, right? Next time you go to a con, you must cosplay as her.

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I<3MetalGert

 

 

Michael Ian Black takes on bro-mosexual douche Tucker Max.....

 

So Tucker Max, you drunk, misogynistic motherfucker – I am officially calling you OUT! I am going to fist fuck every hole in your boozy little body until you crawl away like the sniveling little bitch that you are. YOU’RE DEAD!

 

I'm completely serious. I'd LOVE to fight you. I'll even promise to show up drunk as shit. I'll drink an unreasonable amount of alcohol before we fight--20 beers, 30 beers, whatever it takes to me plastered. And if you don't think I'm drunk enough, I'll keep drinking. As long as I am conscious and able to stand on my feet, I'll fight you. And here's the kicker: If you beat me, I'll give you the next royalty check from my book. It should be about 150k, give or take agent fees and other things. I am completely serious.

 

So Tucker Max has officially accepted my challenge to a fight. Good. That was the easy part. The hard part? Deciding exactly how I am going to rearrange his face. Will I pluck out an eye and stuff it up his nostril? Will I make him choke down his own tongue until he throws it up and then sit on his head and force him to lap up his own puke like a bad little puppy? Or will I simply knock out his teeth and then use them as Chinese death stars which I will then throw into his black heart? I just do not know. But I do know this: Tucker Max is going down. How do I know this? Because Tucker may have the athleticism, the muscles, the fighting skills, the experience, the guts, and the heart. But I have something he will NEVER have – I’m not sure what that is, but if I think about it long enough I will probably come up with something. I might be better at Scrabble, for example. (I also have one of the original pets.com sock puppets, which I’m sure he doesn’t have, and will never have, but I don’t think that will help me in the fight.)

 

 

l_c47475208bf79c06f0e9b115132d14ba_event_full.jpg>tuckermax.jpg

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muppetmeth1.jpg

8.jpg

 

You know, I may actually remember this cartoon from when I was a kid. I think it was about how in the future good guys and bad guys find an alien planet filled with dinosaurs. Ah well...

 

And this one's for Skeet:

footinass.jpg

Edited by Drifter
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