Video Game Movies

[Iambaytor]

http://www.shocktillyoudrop.com/news/topnews.php?id=5879I

 

I was excited about this until I found out that they were using the storyline from the second game (actually the 3rd game) called The Struggle Within. Why do I not like this? Because The Struggle Withing was the only part in the series that didn't feature the super creepy deformed chubby kid in short pants Scissor Man (well to be fair neither did Clock Tower 3 but Capcom made that and bad survival and "doesn't involve zombies" are synonymous in the Capcom game model)

 

Clock Tower 2/3 wasn't even a proper Clock Tower game, it had nothing to do with the original which was a very chilling tale of an orphan girl in a dark mansion being hunted by a crazed woman and her lunatic giant scissor wielding man-child of a son. (Picture Of Mice and Men only instead of rabbits Lenny likes to snip the heads off pre-pubescent girls with gardening shears and George is really old and has a vagina and...actually, it's nothing like Of Mice and Men.)

 

Whereas the Struggle Within (as the name implies) involves a person's mental struggle with a psychopathic killer in their mind. If you don't feel like hunting up a copy of this PS1 exclusive then just hunt up Manhunt 2, except instead of playing as Daniel Lamb you'll be playing as a teenage girl with no fighting skills... actually you know, that's not much of a distinction. So it's just like Manhunt 2.

 

As you can clearly tell, I'm not the least bit bitter about this.

[The NZA]

my quick list.

 

The Good:

 

Resident Evil

Silent Hill

Goldeneye (you see what i dids there?!)

Mortal Kombat (cmon, it was fun)

 

The Bad:

 

Tomb Raider (im guessing here)

Mario Bros

Street Fighter

Doom (still guessing here)

 

The Ugly:

 

anything past Resident Evil 1

MK Annihilation

Double Dragon

Wing Commander

[Silent Bob]

Resident Evil is probably the best videogame movie...and it sucked. Tomb Raider was actually not as bad as people say, but it wasn't good either (and it has a great track record for having kickass leading men who go on to be big stars - Danny Craig in the first one and Gerard Butler in the second). No list of the Ugly could be complete without Super Mario Bros.

[The NZA]

i really did let the forgiving nature of nostalgia place Mario Bros in the bad, but Yoshi? Bowser? Mario Mario? my heart knew it belonged lower.

 

im glad someone else enjoyed RE, for some reason it got crapped on when - let's face it, its a video game flick, our standards are so low, its easy to enjoy something that's at least half-made.

 

we will not speak of boll.

[Iambaytor]

I thought Resident Evil was pretty good I just hold ill feelings toward it cause A. Up until we see zombie's it's a total ripoff of Cube and B. I have a near animalistic hate of Milla Jovich. I'd put Silent Hill above Resident Evil though, okay yeah the story was a bit dull and Sean Bean's American accent was horrifically bad but come on it was creepy, it was foggy, and it told a good story. Mission accomplished.

 

Super Mario Bros. ends up on the bad list just for having Dennis Hopper in it.

 

And Boll's a given. House of the Dead, Bloodrayne, In the Name of the King, and Alone in the Dark were horrific. Though I actually do wanna see Postal, it's like putting training wheels on a car, honestly how can he fuck up THAT franchise?

 

So has anybody seen Dead or Alive yet? I heard it was decent.

Edited May 2, 2008 by Iambaytor

[The NZA]

id not heard that about it.

 

why the Milla-hate? also, should i have seen the Cube?

[Iambaytor]

id not heard that about it.

 

why the Milla-hate? also, should i have seen the Cube?

 

I wish I could tell you why. I mean I liked her in the Fifth Element, then she learned how to speak english and BOOM I'm wishing Gary Oldman would brain her with a pipe. Perhaps I'm just hypnotized Old Boy style to want to kill Milla Jovich.

 

Cube's a love it or hate it type of movie. It's good but it's not a particularly exciting film.

Edited May 2, 2008 by Iambaytor

[Lycaon]

should i have seen the Cube?

Yes. Yes, you should.

[Drifter]

Super Mario Bros. was awesome, better than the first MK movie.

[bishopcruz]

The Good/OK:

Resident Evil 1

Mortal Kombat

Street Fighter

Silent Hill

 

The Bad:

DOOM

The Wizard

 

The Ugly:

House of the Dead (AWESOME!)

Bloodrayne (AWESOME x2)

Resident Evil Apocalypse (Might have been the worst video game movie ever except for...)

Resident Evil Extinction (Didn't think they could make it worse, but they did)

Alone in the dark (Not even mildly entertaining)

Dungeon Siege (Uwe's batting 0/4)

Mortal Kombat Annihilation (Just awful)

 

The links are to a podcast that I occasionally guest host with Gunsmithx, the GREATEST MOVIE EVER Podcast. It's kinda a shame that so many of these films fall into the ugly category. Still, I do kinda love Bloodrayne and HotD, just because they are so amazingly bad, hence the AWESOME, comments.

[MetalHeart]

Awh, Cj and I really liked the RE movies... :( <3

[Iambaytor]

They were decent movies beneath all the stupid, but Alice is the ultimate Mary-Sue.

[Lycaon]

Awh, Cj and I really liked the RE movies... :( <3

As did I, but didn't see the last one.

[alive she cried]

Holy shit....i just realised that bishopcruz and BigChiefSlapaho are different people

[The NZA]

hah, that's what i get for haivng a profile page.

[bishopcruz]

Resident Evil 1 was good, a lot of fun, and kepts the spirit of the games, as well as being a good Zombie movie that works if you have never seen them.

 

Apocalypse and Extinction are drek, with Apocalypse being the better move only by virtue of not sucking as much. I really didn't expect Extinction to be as bad as it was, but wowee was I surprised. It was AWFUL, truly shit on celluloid. This in no way implies that Apocalypse was good, just that Extinction was like exponentially worse.

 

They were decent movies beneath all the stupid, but Alice is the ultimate Mary-Sue.

 

Not really, after the first film, Alice killed pretty much anything good about the films They were all about her, ALL about her. If you mean decent in terms of production design, then I can maybe give you the 3rd film (apocalypse was UGLY), but the scripts were awful, the acting was occasionally worse than the games that inspired the films (No mean feat) and the sense of danger is completely non-existent.

 

The worst part is that they aren't either campy enough (Street Fighter) or just plain incompetent enough (Bloodrayne, House of the Dead) to be entertaining, the last two resident evil films are the result of Paul WS Anderson mentally masturbating on film, and the jizz drips off of every frame.

 

Holy shit....i just realised that bishopcruz and BigChiefSlapaho are different people

[alive she cried]

i think it was the fact that both of ye had iron man avatars

(ye did both have iron man avatars did'nt ye? or am i just going crazy?)

[Newtype]

i think it was the fact that both of ye had iron man avatars

(ye did both have iron man avatars did'nt ye? or am i just going crazy?)

 

BigChiefSlapaho = Iron man

 

bishopcruz = Halo

 

Damn Irish twat.

[alive she cried]

i think it was the fact that both of ye had iron man avatars

(ye did both have iron man avatars did'nt ye? or am i just going crazy?)

Edited May 7, 2008 by alive she cried

[bishopcruz]

Nope, I've had a Sinfest avatar, Azumanga Daioh (Ipod) Avatar, Phoenix Wright Avatar, and a Xander (Buffy TVS) avatar. Then Master Cheif.

 

So sorry.

[alive she cried]

sorry man, i must have just gone insane there.

no disrespect intended

[Iambaytor]

This just in, Max Payne may actually be pretty good:

[soldier of fortune]

Looks good from the trailer!

[Darth Fluffakins]

Hell Yeah, Markie Mark is tha shit!, can't wait for that.

[The NZA]

huh.

that could indeed be good. let's hope its good and culty like uh, Professional, Man on Fire, Boondock Saints etc and less like uh, all the other gun movies i forgot for sucking.