Jump to content
Hondo's Bar

Blargh - The Random Thread


The NZA

Recommended Posts

Horoscope from The Onion

 

 

AHHHHHHHHHHH READ MINE CANCER!!! BIOLOGICAL OUTBREAK!!!! I KNEW IT!!!!

 

 

Your Horoscope

 

June 10, 2008 | Issue 44•24

Your Birthday Today

 

It's often said that the older a person gets the wiser he becomes. Unfortunately, you're still young enough to believe in that junk.

 

Aries March 21 - April 19

 

This coming week is a good time for Aries to explore different career options, which, with your skill set, should leave Tuesday through Sunday wide open.

 

Taurus April 20 - May 20

 

After experiencing the steep drops, abrupt climbs, and out-of-control spins of a roller coaster this week, you'll finally see why your therapist so often invokes them in characterizing your mental states.

 

Gemini May 21 - June 21

 

While it's often understood that racism, by nature, is borne of ignorance, your claim that the Irish control the media will still seem particularly uneducated this week.

 

Cancer June 22 - July 22

 

Your tendency to see the worst in every situation will rob you of any pleasure you might have otherwise derived from next Thursday's biological outbreak.

 

Leo July 23 - August 22

 

Tomorrow will be the perfect day to curl up in bed with a good book and sob hysterically about how you never learned to read.

 

Virgo August 23 - September 22

 

So ashamed will you be about falling down the stairs that you'll lie to friends and family, telling them instead that your husband beat you.

 

Libra September 23 - October 23

 

While experimenting with sex is perfectly normal for someone your age, experimenting with the many varieties of electrical currents and diode clamps is not.

 

Scorpio October 24 - November 21

 

You'll still be able to count the number of times you've suffered a woodshop accident on one hand, although it'll take a little more ingenuity and creativity than before.

 

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21

 

When carrying out a book-burning, first stoke the fire with smaller, lighter works from Austen and Waugh, before throwing on the heavier hardbacks of Tolstoy and Joyce.

 

Capricorn December 22 - January 19

 

They've taken to calling you a broken man, defeated, beaten, dispirited, hopeless—but then they have access to a thesaurus.

 

Aquarius January 20 - February 18

 

Your therapist will insist that childhood trauma is the cause of your unusual behavior, but it's only recently that you've started screaming for candy.

 

Pisces February 19 - March 20

 

By the time you manage to get the bear suit off, it will have been too late.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yesterday I set up my PC for the first time in 6 months. Still works great. But I accidentally left all my games in New Hampshire, except Leisure Suit Larry - Magna Cum Laude, which though funny, is just an ok game. I also have the expansion for Oblivion, but un-installed it before I left and left the original cd in NH. Fuck.

 

If I was connected to the internet, I could at least take over the World of Warcraft

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The more I listen to this song, I wonder if it was written for me... It feels so natural to turn the words around and sing them as if they were mine

 

Am I

Am I still tough enough?

Feels like I'm wearing down (down down down down)

Is my viciousness losing ground (ground ground ground ground)

Am I taking too much?

Did I cross the line? (line line)

I need my role in this

Very clearly defined

 

I need your discipline

I need your help

I need your discipline

You know once I start I cannot help myself

 

Now it's starting up

Feels like I'm losing touch

Nothing matters to me

Nothing matters as much

I see you left a mark

Up and down the skin (skin skin)

I don't know where I end

Or where you begin

 

I need your discipline

I need your help

I need your discipline

You know once I start I cannot help myself

 

I cannot stop myself

Once I start I cannot stop myself

 

And you know

Once I start I cannot stop myself

And you know

Once I start I cannot stop myself

And you know

Once I start I cannot stop myself

And you know

Once I start I cannot stop myself

 

I need your discipline

And you know

I need your help

Once I start I cannot stop myself

I need your discipline

And you know

Because once I start I cannot stop myself

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Five!

 

editing to post without increasing post count....

 

Dude, why are there guest printing??? Someone out there at night wants a hard copy of something here? Sounds like a stalker I tellya.

 

Buyer Beware!!!

 

Big brother is watching...

Edited by Yahve
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...