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Whew...now I feel better. 'Course, that might not do any good you see nobody's missing a porpoise. It's a dolphin that's been taken. The common harbor porpoise has an abrupt snout, pointed teeth and a triangular thoracic fin. While the bottlenose dolphin, or Tursiops truncates, has an elongated beak, round cone shaped teeth and a serrated dorsal appendage. But I'm sure you already knew that. That's what turns me on about 'cha, your attention to detail.

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Will Ferrell in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Here's an easy one:

 

You heard of this thing, the 8-Minute Abs?

 

Yeah, sure, 8-Minute Abs. Yeah, the excercise video.

 

Yeah, this is going to blow that right out of the water. Listen to this: 7... Minute... Abs.

 

Right. Yes. OK, alright. I see where you're going.

 

Think about it. You walk into a video store, you see 8-Minute Abs sittin' there, there's 7-Minute Abs right beside it. Which one are you gonna pick, man?

 

I would go for the 7.

 

Bingo, man, bingo. 7-Minute Abs. And we guarantee just as good a workout as the 8-minute folk.

 

You guarantee it? That's -- how do you do that?

 

If you're not happy with the first 7 minutes, we're gonna send you the extra minute free. You see? That's it. That's our motto. That's where we're comin' from. That's from "A" to "B".

 

That's right. That's -- that's good. That's good. Unless, of course, somebody comes up with 6-Minute Abs. Then you're in trouble, huh?

 

No! No, no, not 6! I said 7. Nobody's comin' up with 6. Who works out in 6 minutes? You won't even get your heart goin, not even a mouse on a wheel.

 

That -- good point.

 

7's the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 doors. 7, man, that's the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby. Step into my office.

 

Why?

 

'Cause you're fuckin' fired!

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There's something about Mary

 

- Your middle name is Ralph, as in puke, your birth date's March 12th, you're 5'9 and a half, you weigh 130 pounds and your social security number is 049380913.

 

- Wow! Are you psychic?

 

- No.

 

- Well, would you mind telling me how you know all this about me?

 

- I stole your wallet.

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Okay...that was the Breakfast Club...

New One:

 

You know what wakes me up in the middle of the night covered in a cold sweat? Knowing that you aren't any worse than anyone else in your whole screwed up generation. In the old days, you know how you got to the top? Huh? By being better than the guy ahead of you. How do you people get to the top? By being so fucking incompetent, that the guy ahead of you can't do his job, so he falls on his ass and congratulations, you are now on top. And now the top is down here, it used to be up here... and you don't even know the fucking difference

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lord of the rings part duex

 

This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff.

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I'm not a hundred percent about this so if I'm wrong skip my one, but is it ADAPTATION?

 

First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village, but the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living if you don't have a dick?

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It was Adaptation, and yours was Donnie Darko. Good movie. I wasn't nearly as impressed with it as some people on this board were, but it was pretty good.

 

Where were you last night?

 

That was so long ago, I don't remember.

 

Will I see you tonight?

 

I never make plans that far ahead.

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Now I know I've used that one before. Casablanca. I use that line, myself, all the time. I wish it came out as cool from me as it did from Bogey.

 

Janie, make a note, we need to schedule more meetings where somebody gives me a really big fish.

 

Yes, sir!

 

Janie, I'm kidding.

 

Of...course, sir.

 

 

Or perhaps...

 

 

Louis, however much coffee you drink in the morning, I want you to reduce it by half.

 

I don't drink coffee, sir.

 

The hit yourself in the head with a baseball bat, would you please?

 

Yes, sir.

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that would be andrew shephard / american president, perhaps one of the most rerunned movies of all times via tbs/tnt/wgn/family networks...good movie though

 

 

Okay here's a synonym for procreation: fuck you! It's easy for you to point the finger when you're sitting on your rich ass in a big fucking house!

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nothing to lose

 

 

What the FUCK, man?! We got people gettin' killed left, right and center in this town; now we're IMPORTING victims?! Hey, gangbangers wanna kill each other? No problem! You or me, one of us gets shot? Hey, occupational hazard! But just a normal guy, THIS fuckin' guy?! What the fuck did he ever do to anybody?! That ain't right!!

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See, all these movies take place in a small town called Shermer, in Illinois, where all the honies are top-shelf, but all the dudes are whiny pussies--except for Judd Nelson, he was fuckin' harsh--but best of all, there was no one dealin', man; then, it hits me: we could live like phat rats if we were the blunt connection in Shermer, Illinois. So we collected some money we were owed, and we caught a bus. You know what the fuck we found out when we got there? There is no Shermer in Illinois! Movies are fuckin' bullshit.

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Dumb and Dumber.

 

Venice is a wonderful city, a very old city, very old. You can learn a lot in Venice. You wanna know how to make a Venetian blind? Like this - ker-pluck! Have you heard about this new sect, the Christians? They are *so* poor.........(how poor are they?) Thankyou! They are *so* poor that they only have *one god*! We Romans are rich, we gotta lotta gods, we gotta god for everything. The only thing we don't have a god for - premature ejaculation! But I hear it's coming quickly.

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That is the one and only Mel Brooks in my favorite Mel Brook movie, History Of The World Part I (the best in the series, IMHO, though the Hilter on Ice and Jew in Space scenes in Part II were pretty nifty).

 

You're not the man I knew ten years ago.

 

It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage.

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