The NZA Posted October 17, 2003 Author Share Posted October 17, 2003 Why do women look forward to going to friends weddings (in which they dont even participate in anything)? Because many women are, as the bible says, descendants of hellish succubus (or succubi, as it were), and not only feed off the life/broken dreams subsequent of breaking you down to the state of utter complacency; their intense hatred of merry men causes them to respond in odd, joyful ways to watching other victims couples take part in such. That, and they like dressin up all purdy-like and sometimes visualizing themselves in such a scenario...remember, if your bachelorhood is truly dear, its socially acceptable in most cutlures to cold clock your chick to stop her from catching that damn boquet. Why do women have to buy a dress for 1 event and wear it once...instead like us guys were same suit over and over? Women sometimes more understand the importance of wasteful, vestigial large purchases to a locke-ian capitalist system. This economic truth is masked by silly ideas that certain clothes match the "season" (if this was true, id like to see just one chick try to match the equinox..."look, this goes sooo well with the winter solstice!"). Of course, the upside is the faint hope that she'll buy & prepare the same outfit as another hot, busty chick, leading into your 4th question. How come womens orgasm are so much better than our spluge second? One does well to remember the rubix cube that is the vaginee: there's vaginal, clitoral, and bukkake orgasms, to name a few. Id also venture that quality and quantity are different issues, but... The truth is: I get to pee wherever and however i want. My shlong does not bleed, nor cramp. Outside of what guv'na Ahnold tells me, I cannot bear a child. And I always get off during sex. If i had to trade all that for the chance of multiple orgasms...no way, man. What the hell is up with cat fights...how come you never see a woman just deck another bitch the hell out? You, my friend, need to watch more porn; I recommend the artists of my last post. Seriously, though - youve never seen just one? I figured everyone gets at least one good one...this one time in high school (all guy school ), the chick school next door...2 of the only fine chicks got into it, and tops got ripped up in the process...messy, but damn it was hot. That shit made my semester. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 Right, I watched that "Devil's Playground" yokey earlier about the Amish society, and understand how they feel that having a T.V. and videogames and the like takes away from the family, but not having cars? Sorry - I just don't geddit. Care to shine a little light on the subject? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 17, 2003 Author Share Posted October 17, 2003 Right, I watched that "Devil's Playground" yokey earlier about the Amish society, and understand how they feel that having a T.V. and videogames and the like takes away from the family, but not having cars? Sorry - I just don't geddit. Care to shine a little light on the subject? Of course. The amish - known largely for their delicous oats - deemed Gary Numan a blasphemer many years ago. This New England controversy stems from years of drama. Numan, born a quaker himself, was a very active member & often took first place in the box car derby, as well as the horse & buggy races - not easy when your beliefs prevent you from hitting the horse itself. Sadly, it was this very belief that kept Numan from escaping when, at a rather young age, he & his cart were overrun and subsequently buggered by vicous, wild chinchillas. The Amish community, not very liberal in their thoughts on bestial anal, turned a blind eye to this tragic incident. Years later, Numan would speak of this incident rather scathingly in one of his popular lyrics: "Here in my car I feel safest of all I can lock all my doors It's the only way to live In cars..." His attempt at lyrical revenge fell on deaf ears, though, as the amish dont listen to much rock. Numan - with the help of Jeff Beck & the Black Crowes - would perform a one-hour concert simply looping this song, not only on Amish turf, but right during the middle of their harvest festival. Not many roofs were raised. The end result was: the amish communities' seething hatred for cars, as well as Fear Factory. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TulipO Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 1) When is a door not a door? 2) What has a bed, but doesn't sleep, has a head, but doesn't weep, has a mouth but doesn't eat, runs, but has no feet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tangent Man Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 Tangent Man knows #2! Tangent Man knows #2! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tangent Man Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 Oh! Oh! Tangent Man knows #1 as well! I am mighty! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 17, 2003 Author Share Posted October 17, 2003 When is a door not a door? When it's ajar. What has a bed, but doesn't sleep, has a head, but doesn't weep, has a mouth but doesn't eat, runs, but has no feet? A river. Honestly, we're resorting to riddles now...? Irish Cowboy says: although this thread is about my omniscience, if another wishes to answer, give it a go...id hate to see Tangent Man crap himself in front of everyone again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TulipO Posted October 18, 2003 Share Posted October 18, 2003 1) How come when animals are fat (like your pirate cat in blargh) it's really fucking cute, but when people are fat, it's just kinda...not....usually? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 18, 2003 Author Share Posted October 18, 2003 How come when animals are fat (like your pirate cat in blargh) it's really fucking cute, but when people are fat, it's just kinda...not....usually? For a number of reasons: 1) Fat animals mean theyre at least well-fed and hopefully loved; fat people...lazy. 2) We dont (often) boink the animals. 3) Fur hides bitch-titties. etc...fat ani-mals = fluffy, fat people = chunky..not good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobitussinEF Posted October 18, 2003 Share Posted October 18, 2003 What style of YellowAsics was Uma Thurman wearing in Kill Bill? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TulipO Posted October 18, 2003 Share Posted October 18, 2003 1) "Have you been chasing me your whole life, only to fail now?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 18, 2003 Author Share Posted October 18, 2003 What style of YellowAsics was Uma Thurman wearing in Kill Bill? You are mistaken - those are not YellowAsics. They are custom-made Cavarichis, with an izod gator sewed on. Look closer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 18, 2003 Author Share Posted October 18, 2003 "Have you been chasing me your whole life, only to fail now?" "Thees word, 'inconceivable'...I do not think you know what eet means." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TulipO Posted October 19, 2003 Share Posted October 19, 2003 1) If a tree falls in the forest, and there is no one around to hear, does it make a sound? 2) What is the sound of one hand clapping? 3) Does a bear shit in the woods? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TulipO Posted October 19, 2003 Share Posted October 19, 2003 1)Is the "Stank Ho" title there to make someone post more? 2) Or should I take it personally? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted October 19, 2003 Share Posted October 19, 2003 What's that stank ho talking about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 19, 2003 Author Share Posted October 19, 2003 If a tree falls in the forest, and there is no one around to hear, does it make a sound? I never got this one. Is it some existential metaphor? I mean, how egotistical are we as people? I didnt hear the sound pangea mighta made when the continents seperated, but im fairly certain it wasnt a quite event... What is the sound of one hand clapping? Listen..im making it right now. Does a bear shit in the woods? I certainly hope so. If bears exclusively shat in streams, that wouldnt do wanky Evian springs very much good. Actually, the idea of a bear refusing to shit in the woods is kinda funny. Anyway, Yogi never did on camera, that's gotta count for somethin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 19, 2003 Author Share Posted October 19, 2003 Is the "Stank Ho" title there to make someone post more? I'm not gonna answer this, as I follow the advice of Snoop Dogg and dont talk much to stank ho's. In the words of Ludacris, "you ho who you are." And look at you now; goin on about sheep and goats? Tulip, is there somethin on your mind? Cause if so, you should let your pimp know. Or should I take it personally? See, there you ho again. Luda's words might also soothe you: "Ho's dont feel so bad & blue, cause most of us niggas is ho's, too". So, like Micheal Jackson says, youre not alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 19, 2003 Author Share Posted October 19, 2003 What's that stank ho talking about? Pssh..listenin to dem ho's...why you think you take a ho to a hotel? Ho-tell everybody, even the mayor; reach up in the sky for the ho-zone layer... PS i got TulipO's...in different area codes, air-eee-ah codes... OK im done, sorry bout that Tu, that was ho-rrible of me, hold up...aaand im done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TulipO Posted October 19, 2003 Share Posted October 19, 2003 :ill: Why does gin make me feel so shitty? ugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The NZA Posted October 19, 2003 Author Share Posted October 19, 2003 :ill: Why does gin make me feel so shitty? ugh. Did you drink it with juice? Snoop Dogg recommends juice. I think it tastes like ass either way, so it might be the assy taste that makes you feel bad. Sorry if the Cuervo kid made it worse. He/she will be punished. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reverend Jax Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 Will Chinese Democracy ever come out, and without Slash, should I even care? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Signal08 Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 1) why is it that once you are taken(after forever single), do women make passes at you and try to hook up... 2) tube socks...usefull or useless? 3) is the percentage of stupid people increasing, or just more stupid people around b/c of general population growth? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reverend Jax Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 Are the voices in my head telling me to kill and kill again anything to be concerned about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganny McVagflaps Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 i) Cannibals - fucked in the head or just misunderstood? ii) Is every song nowadays "What I Like About You" or is it just me? iii) Black Grape or the Happy Mondays? iv) What do you get the woman that has everything? v) On a scale of bleech to boogadaboogadaboogada, just how hot is Eva Mendes? vi) Do you have any tatoos? vii) Has anyone ever asked seven questions inna row? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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